I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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