it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
