why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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