Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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