I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
