You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
