At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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