I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
