if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Farmville is her only friend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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