Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
