When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
