i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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