you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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