I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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