Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
