If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
