But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
