it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
well you can't waste a boner
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
