my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
