peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
