If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
