My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize