No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
