we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
