Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
