Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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