Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
