I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
