The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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