There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
