we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
