I'm really into asian looking animals
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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