He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
