i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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