found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
