So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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