So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
