I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The adults are the big ones right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
