I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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