maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
