P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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