he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
