Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
