Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
