I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
