How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
