hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
