Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
