3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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