Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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