My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
