my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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